The Name
by connielea
Summary: The Question that should never be asked. The name that is more than a name... River's life is not only intertwined with his; somehow it is the Answer to the Question...
1. Chapter 1

**I'm excited about the Question that should never be asked and I imagine that the name is more than just a name... River's life is not only intertwined with his; somehow it is the Answer to the Question...**

The Name

"It's just not that simple, River. Eventually you will know my name, and I know there's only one time that I could have given it it you. That appears to be a fixed point. But I can't for a _moment_ imagine why I would subject you to that."

"Honestly Sweetie, being married to you can't be that much worse than current state. I'm well aware of all your little flaws and foibles by now..."

"Flaws? Foibles?" the Doctor started to pout. River kissed away the pout before he could protest further.

"Seriously, dear" he continued, "I think we have the best of all worlds now, and sharing my name would be, well, complicated."

"Really, you think I can't handle a little naming-complexity? My mother did name her daughter after her daughter, you know. And I imagine that the only reason you call me River was because I told you my name was River when you first met me. Of course, when I first met you I learned that I would become River because you called me River. I've got the whole Mobius-strip thing covered as far as names go."

He sighed, "It's not just a name, it's about sharing the name. Once you know what it is, you will never be able to go back to _not_ knowing. My burdens will become your burdens. My knowledge will be your knowledge. My sins will be your sins. I can't imagine ever exposing you to that kind of horror. "

River watched him with concern.

The Doctor looked at her gravely, "Haven't you ever wondered why I took off? Why I ignored the traditional Time Lord duties and instead stole a TARDIS to roam the universe? Why I willingly chose to leave my people; to shun them, and then to destroy them?"

River held his gaze, "Because the alternative was so much worse" she said quietly.

The Doctor almost looked relieved at her understanding as he "bopped" her nose. She smiled. It was such a reflex action for him, she wondered just when he had started doing it to her.

She took the opening, "That is what marriage is for, you know. I want to share more than booty calls and wacky hijinks through time and space. I'm there for the bad stuff too. For the burdens that you have no idea how you will ever be able to manage. Or, for the ones that you think you can manage, until you realize you can't." She paused and looked deep into his eyes, "That's why I'm here, my love. You know that I was made for you. My existence isn't an accident. "

"Nor is mine," he replied sadly. "And I'm afraid of what that means for yours."

**To be continued...**


	2. Chapter 2

_Some time/space later... or earlier..._

River inhaled the fragrant steam as she made a note in her diary. She flipped back a few pages to check a reference and stirred her tea absently. The TARDIS kitchen was quiet and heard herself sigh she started to piece together the bigger picture.

"Oh, hello. I didn't know you were here." Rory stopped short at the doorway in surprise. He leaned down to give her a kiss on the check. "Did you and the Doctor go on one of your secret midnight adventures?"

"Hi, Dad," she smiled. "Actually, we stayed in tonight. And I'm afraid I rather wore him out – he's finally sleeping."

Rory struggled for an appropriate response. "Um, ok, yeah. Didn't really need to know _that_."

"The water is still hot," River said with a smile. "Sit down and I'll make you a cup."

Rory managed to squeak out "And some biscuits, please?"

The two sat in companionable silence for a while, enjoying their midnight snack. Rory watched River maneuver her biscuit in the tea, dipping and eating each of the four corners. He chuckled fondly as she discarded the remaining diamond on the saucer.

"That's exactly how Mels used to do it," he observed. "Do you still claim that the calories are only in the middle of the biscuit?"

River smiled at the memory of the many times they had sat together like this. "I'm so glad we had those years. I know it's not what you or Amy would ever have planned, but those times are so precious to me now."

"To us too," Rory responded. "Even if we seemed to spend half of it bailing you out and then apologizing all through town."

"I did manage to stir up quite a bit of trouble, didn't I? And a few broken hearts along the way, too," she admitted.

"I remember a few late night chats like this when it was _your_ heart that was broken, or at least bruised." he ventured.

"Well, you created a safe space to share those feelings. I could discuss other boys freely with you, since you only had eyes for Amy."

"_Oh thank god"_ Rory thought. "So, what kind of trouble do you have in that blue book?"

"How did you know?"

"I always know." he smiled fondly

River flipped through a few pages. "He's trying to get something out of me, something big. A Spoiler."

"I thought the "No Spoilers!' rule was his?"

"Yes, but he's fishing around, asking me different questions at different times. The way our timelines crisscross he's been spacing it out years apart for me, but they've all been recent in his timeline. He's trying to figure something out – something he's not supposed to know yet."

"Would it really do much harm if he did know?" Rory asked. "I mean, besides that whole jeopardizing the fabric of space and time part...?"

"Yes." she said she stared intently into her father's eyes. "If he knew, he would do everything he could to stop it. He won't be able to see that there's only one way for it to end. There's no way he will accept it."

"Why don't you try me. I might surprise you." said a familiar voice from the doorway.

… _to be continued..._


End file.
